The KKNJFLCL HumorYaoiRomanceInsanity Fic!
by BakaTariTori
Summary: Haruko pays a visit to Hokuei soon after the MM factory is finished in the area only to find that there is only one group of teenagers who could possibly be of any use to her. KazumaXArima, AsabaXHarukoArima


Well, here's my first fanfic that I plan to finish and for it to go on for a while. It's based on my 2 fav. Anime/Manga, FLCL and KKNJ/Kare Kano. AND I'M DOING IT WITHOUT HELP!!! w00t! Neeways, for some stuff:

Disclaimer: No matter how much I'd like to own Kare Kano ((huggles Tsubasa and Pero Pero)) and FLCL ((Huggles that cute black kitty)) I don't. STUPID TOKYOPOP FOR BEATING ME TO THEM!!! Ahem.

Warnings: Sexual References, Shonen-Ai, Mild Language

Well, here goes nothing!

The KKNJ/FLCL Humor/Sci-Fi/Yaoi/Insanity Fic! –

Chapter I- The Insanity Begins

-------------------

Haruhara Haruko sat on her vespa from a distance watching the 2 high schoolers talk to each other, both blushing as they spoke. They didn't look very special, and the only thing she could notice that could possibly be useful about the two of them was for maybe taking out frustration the pleasurable way. How could she resist some 16 or 18 year old bishies, one with wispy black hair and a decent build and a punk rock guy with blonde hair? She continued to watch, but she got bored eventually and decided to eavesdrop just in case. After they parted, the took off on her vespa in the direction of the school, hoping to find a good… specimen.

Kazuma and Soichiro had yet again ran into each other near the CD store, Kazuma looking for some band's CD, and Soichiro looking for the new Yin and Yang album. They were both blushing throughout their entire meeting, but neither of them knew that they themselves were. Kazuma had just recently quit school so he could spend more time with Yin and Yang, so they didn't see each other as often. The both of them already had girlfriends (Kazuma's situation is sorta iffy, he's in love with his step-sister) but they both admired each other; Soichiro admired Kazuma's fame, Kazuma Soichiro's grades.

Arima finally found the new Yin and Yang CD and noticed that Tsubasa, Kazuma's step sister and Soichiro's close friend, had her name on the cover of the case. "Kazuma, I can't believe you put her name on the CD case just for her! I bet your fight the two of you had was over quickly," said Soichiro. Kazuma thought back to the long fight they had with each other and how Tsubasa virtually hated Kazuma for picking his music over her, which he didn't. Kazuma laughed in response and glanced at his watch.

"Damn, knowing that sister of mine, she'll probably skin me alive for not being home when she gets there, so I should leave to avoid a horrific death!" They both laughed, because they know how bad Tsubasa's bad side can get. Arima waved goodbye and paid for the CD he was buying and headed back to school for kendo practice.

Haruko, still on the search for the person she was looking for, spotted another group of high schoolers. They looked about the same age, too. A girl with maroon hair, a short blonde, a girl with long black hair, an athletic looking girl, also with black hair. There was another one holding a book reading, amazingly avoiding bumping into street lights and other people as she walked, also with black hair, and another girl, blonde, talking about this outfit she was thinking of designing. There was also two boys, one extremely tall with dark tanned skin, and another one whose stunning looks made Haruko almost fall over. She continued to watch them, just like she did with the other boys she spied on earlier. She noticed that one of them had a very special quality that she should investigate, but then recognized the short blonde girl from what the blonde boy said earlier. She remembered his remarks about her temper, and if she was that scary, the group of them and the young girl, who was apparently this "Tsubasa" that the blonde spoke of, would be pretty dangerous, well, at least for now. She decided to kill two birds with one stone by creating some serous mischief and breaking in her new bass. She hopped on her vespa and went back toward the CD store and followed the path the blonde took.

Kazuma got thirsty on the way home, so he stopped at a vending machine near the new factory that always made those weird noises and all that smoke. It was finished around a month ago, and despite how many people voted against it, it got built anyway. Kazuma deposited his change and grabbed his coke from the machine. He opened it and began to swallow the fizzy liquid, and then noticed how much the factory was shaped like an iron. No sooner had he started walking he heard the sound of someone approaching on some type of motorbike. He thought nothing of it except _I always wanted one of those_. If only he had turned around.

"ITADAKI-"(1) Kazuma heard the beginning of this phrase usually said before eating dinner/battle cry and turned around.

"MASUUUU!!!" (1) Cried the obviously insane girl wielding a rather heavy-looking bass guitar as she sped way past the speed limit toward the unsuspecting Kazuma.

Nothing that Kazuma ever heard during band practice, even the time when Ushio accidentally threw a guitar at one of their largest amps, could ever have prepared Kazuma for the oncoming TWANG and the severe loss of brain cells that ensued. Kazuma flew backwards at least 25 feet, but would have gone farther if it weren't for the mailbox on the sidewalk that broke his flight. Somehow, Kazuma survived the impact and managed to open his eyes and see a girl, about 19-ish, with pink hair walk up through the cloud of letters that spewed from the severely dented up mailbox. "Wow. They usually go unconscious for at least five minutes after I smack them with this thing. I guess this can be good… I can get some much needed info, but I guess I don't get the pleasure of providing you with some mouth to mouth resuscitation, eh? You are definitely the strongest one yet, Taro-Kun.(2)"

Kazuma just stared at her as if she were insane, which, she technically was.

"Well, we could always try this again!" Exclaimed Haruko as she raised the guitar over her head.

Yet again there was another loud TWANG, but it wasn't on Kazuma's head. Arima, who had just got out of kendo heard the commotion and beat Haruko upside the head with his wooden sword. Haruko didn't seem injured, but she looked VERY annoyed. "Damnit. Caught in the act. Well, I must be going, Taro-kun, but we will meet again, I guarantee it!" And with that, Haruko sped off with an angry Arima calling after her, "HE'S NOT TARO!(3)"

After Haruko was out of sight, Arima walked to bewildered Kazuma. Trust me, if you got hit upside the head with a bass guitar, flew back and hit a mailbox and almost got murdered by a psycho on a vespa, you'd be bewildered too. Just as Arima began to look at Kazuma, he began to blush, as did Kazuma. "I… I-I… Um… Thanks… for smacking her upside the head with your kendo stick…heh…" Kazuma attempted to say, obviously nervous.

"Yeah, you're lucky I got out of kendo early… So… um… Do you want me to take you to the hospital? We're… not far from a bus stop…" Said Arima, nervous also. He wondered to himself, _why do I get so flustered around him? I don't even get flustered around Miyazawa, but I do around Kazuma… Why?_

"Don't bother… Yeah… My parents would never believe you if you told them that I was in the hospital from severe bass guitar injuries to the head…"

-Nervous laugh-

Arima helped him up and put his arm behind him to help him limp to the nearest pay phone. To his surprise, he felt really comfortable, even good, to have his arm around Kazuma, who felt the same way. This feeling confused both of them, but they chose to ignore it.

They finally got to a pay phone, and since Kazuma used all of his change in the drink machine, Arima gladly paid for him. Kazuma dialed his home phone number. A few seconds later, a familiar voice said, "Hello? Shibahime Residence?"

"Hey, Tsubasa, it's me-"

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN? WHERE ARE YOU? YOU ARE SO GOING TO DIE WHE – HEY-"

"Hi honey."

"Hi, mom. I need a ride home. I got… um… mugged by an insane girl on a vespa and I need you to come and pick me up. Could you meet me in front of that new factory they built?"

"Sure. You mean the one that's shaped like a freakishly huge iron?"

"Yeah. That one. And don't bring Tsubasa if you value my life. Thanks, bye."

CLICK.

"I should stay here with you, just in case that freakish girl comes back."

Kazuma was happy to hear this, because when he was around Arima, he felt safe and secure. He just made him feel good. After, what could he expect from a kendo champion with good grades and that was unbelieveably sexy- wait… why was Kazuma even thinking this? This wasn't the first time he had thought of Arima in this way. Either way though, sexy and "deep, subtle and seductive" are two completely different things! Kazuma began to blush profusely. The sun had just begun to set, and it made his face look even redder. Arima took notice. "Hey, Kazuma, what are you blushing for?"

Kazuma turned away and blushed even more, if it were possible to be that red. "Um.. uh.. I'm b-blushing? O-oh.. I d-didn't realize…" Arima shrugged, and the two of them waited in silence for Kazuma's mother to arrive.

Asaba finally arrived back at his house. He threw his bag on the floor near the door and plopped down on his couch. Lucky for him, he lived alone due to the fact that he doesn't get along with his parents, which meant he could feel free to take off his clothes except for his boxers and lounge around, which he decided to do. No sooner had he done so, he heard the sound of some motor vehicle, very small by the noise it made, crash into his mailbox. He immediately stood up and pulled up his blinds to see what was going on. He didn't see anyone, but he saw a bright yellow vespsa on top of his flattened mailbox. Then somebody started knocking at the door. He debated whether he should put on at least pants first, but he noticed the quality of the vespa and decided it must be a rich girl and that, from his experience, rich girls were hot. He closed his blinds and opened the door. "Yo," Asaba said as he opened the door and saw a girl, about his height and age in a red sports vest and white pants with a bike helmet under her arm and a guitar strapped to her back. Wow, he was right about his "rich girl" theory.

"Yeah. Whatever. It sucks for your mailbox, but I was wondering if you happened to have an extra room that I could stay in for a while."

Asaba thought for a minute. _Well, for one, she's hot. I live alone and do happen to have an extra room. I could also use some extra money…_Before he could say yes, she pushed him out of the way, looked down at his boxers and said, "You know, it's rude to think that way about girls you don't know, but I'll think about it." She winked at him and plopped down on his couch and turned on the TV. Something clicked in her mind and she said, "Weren't you walking with a big group of girls earlier today?"

"Yeah." Replied Asaba as he put on some pants so she wouldn't analyze him by the lump in his boxers. "Were you stalking me or something?"

"I was looking for someone else at the time and I happened to pass you by. But what would you do if I said yes?"

Asaba shrugged and went to the kitchen and started making some ramen. "I was about to make dinner, you want some?"

Haruko thought to herself, _Wow. He has no idea who the hell I am, doesn't know my name, is already having sick thoughts straight from the gutter about me and he offers me free food! I could get to like it here. I hope he's better than that old pervert Mon-chan. _

"Sure! And the name's Haruhara Haruko, at your service. If you need me to pay for anything, I can work as a maid for now."

"Ok, you do that. The name's Asaba Hideaki, the official hottest/sexiest guy at Hokuei.

"Wait. Hokuei? That's where I go!" Haruko lied. Well, sort of. She had actually registered there earlier that day so she could monitor the people there and find the one she was looking for. "What a coincidence."

"I see you have a guitar. Are you any good?"

Haruko smiled a very familiar smirk as she said, "Yes, would you like to hear something?" and jerked the guitar off her back and "accidentally" knocked Asaba backwards a few feet by the impact of her guitar on his forehead. 'Oh my god I am soooo sorry!" she exclaimed very sarcastically.

She waited. He didn't get up. _Yesssss,_ thought Haruko. _I guess I'll have to give him mouth to mouth. It will be all the better because he's shirtless!_ Haruko grinned and ran over to him and put her lips to his and started to breathe into his mouth, forcing oxygen into his lungs, and he still wasn't moving. She decided to take advantage of the moment and put her tongue in his mouth and explored for a minute and then stood up. She was satisfied for now. She softly kicked his head and he came to. She started her "I AM SO SORRY" act, and he actually believed her, even though it was obviously fake. She asked where the spare room was, but was shocked at the answer. "I am not going to sleep on the bunk below you, you sleaze," she said as she called herself a hypocrate in her head. "You will be on the couch. Night!" Haruko ran into his room and slammed the door behind her.

"That girl has some serious issues," thought Asaba aloud, as he again pulled off his pants and climbed onto the couch wearing only boxers.

SYNOPSIS OF WHAT'S TO COME!!!!

Kazuma starts to develop more and more feelings toward Arima!

Two of the guys have been guitared; Whose head will produce robots first?

Hideaki falls in love with a certain roommate; Will he ever tell her?

Haruko has a brother, also on the run from the galactic police. It's only a matter of time until Kitsurubami and Amarao appear again!

Coming soon in Chapter 2: Old Friends and New Loves!

Whoo, done with the first chapter. That took me some time… 3 hours, I think. I'll start on Chapter 2 ASAP. Please R&R and give me suggestions on better ways to portray Arima (he is the ONLY one I can't seem to get right). I'm surprised I haven't been able to use my favorite word in this fic yet. It's much easier to use in real life, and I'm not telling you what it is until I finally use it. And until then, a random freakish quote the I wrote:

If you are what you eat, why aren't you dead?

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

(1) In the original Japanese version of FLCL (I've never seen the full English series, only in Japanese with subtitles) when Haruko first rides up to Naota and smashes him upside the head, that's what she says before maiming him.

(2) The line about "Taro" was also from the original FLCL in Japanese. Taro is a traditional Japanese name and she calls Naota through most of the first episode "Taro."

(3) And AGAIN, in the original FLCL in Japanese, whenever Sameji Mamimi (who does appear later in this fic along with Naota) is around and Haruko calls Naota "Taro," she always says, "His name isn't Taro" or "Again, his name is not Taro, I call him Ta-Kun."


End file.
